As I think back, all I can remember is the blue. We sat out reading on the beach, listening as the tide swept in, feeling that warm, salty, sticky air. And the blue, the deep blue of the distant waves, each one cresting and falling back down upon itself. Soft clouds had covered the sky, reminding me of a thin layer of white tissue papers wrapped around a gift.
It was our last day there at the beach, and then it was back to the office to write more papers, and complete more reports, and all I wanted was a few more moments of peace on that beach.
I looked at ryan, his eyes closed, basking in the sun’s luminous rays. I stared, waiting for him to open his eyes. Waiting to melt in those cerulean irises that always made everything seem alright.
But I knew they weren’t. nothing was alright these days. That trip was supposed to be what brought us back to what we used to me. Back in our early years in highschool, ditching prom and picking up a bottle of vodka at joes bar. Staying up all night talking and dreaming. Back to the times when we could just sit silently on the phone with eachother like idiots.
The silences we share these days are different. It’s a cold, dark, sharp silence that seems to have enveloped our lives completely.
Six years ago, the night of our highschool graduation, we stood in navy blue gowns, we promised each other that this is how it would be forever. Just us, our love, and a few sips of alcohol.
But now, years later, out of college, working and traveling constantly, I cant help but slip back to those moments. I kind of wish I had forgotten them, that way this uncomfort might not be as smothering, that way it wouldn’t hurt to be surrounded by those blue waves, and eyes. Now I feel a little lost, something I haven’t felt in years, 7 years to be exact. Since the day we first kissed in the back of the Sheldon county movie theatre.
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