time after time

don't tell me it's alright
'cause facts don't change feelings,
reason wont change regret.
at the end of the day your left with the sum of what you were left.
and sometimes anger does feel better than forgiveness
sometimes building walls saves your life
even if life was shrunk to fit inside the barriers
sometimes going through the motions isn't worth it.

but i forget these things when i let my careful wall down.

acids and alkalines

i want sour sour lemonade.
a sad kind of lemonade.
biting, burning, cool, cloying, mind numbing lemonade.
i can feel it in my mouth, tense.
and my tongue curls back into my throat in a dreading anticipation of the tart medicine.
but the reaction isn't because of a summer drink.
it's from a different kind of acid.
one that creeps up and pricks your eyes and makes them water.
that makes your throat tighten
cutting off all of the air surrounding you.
one that hits you in waves
stiffening your muscles,
and then tearing you apart at your hinges.
biting
and burning
and keeping you frozen in a moment.
refusing to let you go.